The public school system in BC is heating up. On one side, the Teachers - no contract for years because the one they had before was overturned by the Government (NOT the courts), no limit on class sizes, reduced funding, schools closing, pissed off public. On the other, the Government - trying to balance their budget, closing schools, pissed off public. It's a gong show, and I'm completely biased toward the Teachers on this one, so I'm not going to even comment on the labour unrest going on. Especially since I have many friends who are teachers in the public system and I believe in what they're fighting for.
No, this post is about Public vs Private schooling. Why? Because a local tv station posted this question on their Facebook page today: Do you think private school funding is hurting public education?
First of all, this comment completely divides parents. Instead of bringing us together to find ways to help our children navigate the new world - and really, this IS a new world to us - this question splits us into factions of Private vs Public.
The comments blew me away. Misconceptions, vitrolic remarks about 'privilege'... it was every second post easily. First off, some clarifications:
There is no 'private', it's Independent. Which means, away from the main. Where I live has an interesting School District: there are many public schools which went from Elementary (K-4) - Middle (5-8) - Senior (9-12) in a District with an elected School Board and no 'catchment' regulations, to Elementary (K-7) - Senior (8-12) in a District with a fired Board and a government appointed Supervisor making the decisions and a catchment system that is under way.
There were two French Immersion schools, one in the South End and one in the North, where students were immersed in Elementary, and in a 'track' in a bilingual school for the remainder of their school life. There still are two schools, but they're different ones and they're bilingual, not immersion. The Government has cut the local budget by thousands each year citing lowering enrollment and yet there are still tons of kids in the schools.
And each school, no matter where, has a PAC who works hard to fundraise for the unique needs of the school (this in response to the "Let the private school fund itself through the PAC like a public school does" comment). All things being equal, public school PACs often raise more funds than the Independent school, primarily because the parent base is much larger.
How do I know? Because the Independent schools are doing awesome. In our SD, there are the following Independent Schools:
- Waldorf K-12
- Waldorf/Montessori inspired K-6
- Christian K-12
- Non-denominational K-12 (girls only from 9-12)
- Catholic K-12
- Co-ed College Prep 8-12
- Co-ed University Prep 9-12
- Co-ed International BA Intro 9-12
Not to mention all the kids who are Home Schooled and not even 'enrolled' in a school other than on paper.
The students who go to the Independent schools receive 50% LESS funding than those who go to public school. The parents still pay school taxes for public schools, even though their children don't go to those schools.
Many of the parents who answered that loaded question send their children to an Independent school. Do they have 'disposable income' as was mentioned in a reply? Probably. But I sure don't. Not any more. My reasons have very little to do with income as it happens. I can't afford a pot to piss in.
My oldest can't be in a class of more than 15 kids or she'll end up catatonic in the corner. She can't handle change easily. When with a bunch of people, she feels like prey. She doesn't get bullied for her differences, she gets embraced and protected. My youngest has focusing difficulties. She's in a class of 19 and handles it fine, but she needs the extra one-on-one to help her feel connected. She has problems in her class, but the teachers are on top of it and give her proactive solutions to help her feel in charge of her learning.
And I pay a shitload of money to ensure that. Money I don't have. Money I COULD use for a vacation each year, but can't afford. Money we could use to pay off the mountain of debt I have, but chose to put toward our children's futures instead. Even with the subsidy we're blessed to get each year, I'm still paying almost as much as my mortgage for 10 months to make sure my kids have a better start than I did. Many of the parents in our school work two jobs to put their kids through, and it's one of the less expensive options out there. Not to mention I pay for bussing, or I drive 30 minutes each way to get them into class on time and picked up on time (otherwise I pay for after school care too).
Our teachers get paid less than public school teachers. They never go on strike. They put in extra hours and coach teams, teach more than just their homeroom class, spend their lunches and recesses supervising children. They work hard to make sure each kid is special and keep in constant contact with the parents.
Everything the public school teacher WANTS to do and what they went into teaching TO do. But ours go in knowing they have a contract and it's not going to be ripped up by the administration just because they want to save some money in the running of the school.
Those of us with kids in Independent schools are blessed. Our children are getting the education they require and they're learning in a safe and constant environment. Every parent deserves that, no matter the school they enroll their children in.
As a parent, you always want better for your kid. If you can give them better than what you had, you do. Better nutrition, better home, better clothes, better lifestyle, better education.
Pitting parent against parent is a horrible tactic. "Public school funding" is a myth and a half-truth. There's funding, but it's HALF of public school funding. How can it "harm public schools"? It can't.
What DOES harm public schools is labour unrest and the government reducing the budgets they issue to those schools.
Public schools are harmed when teachers are treated like crap and end up on stress leave for putting on a Play Around The Solstice and parents get their panties in a knot because THEY don't want any religion at all in the school and the other parents get the brush off from the School District.
Public schools are harmed when the students don't know what school they're going to end up at from year to year and the parents have had enough so they pull their kids and put them into an Independent school to give their children continuity and stability.
Public schools are harmed when busses aren't 'free' and the parents have to pay user fees, but they're not told this until after the school year starts... and then the busses aren't even picking up the kids where they need to be picked up.
Public schools are harmed when a teacher has over 30 kids in a class and each one has a special need - emotional, physical or mental - and the teacher's aid is only in the class for half a day three times a week. The child, however, is in the class for the full day, five days a week.
So, spare me the "Us vs Them" rhetoric, the "if you can afford private school you're rich and don't need any help" bullshit, the "private school is ruining public school funding" crap. The 'holier than thou' attitude from a public school parent.
We're all parents. We're all in this together for the betterment of our children. I send my kids to a school that works for THEM, not for ME. If there was a public school that had small class sizes, teachers who were concentrating on the children and not their contract... I'd be all over it. But there isn't. So I don't. And my reasons are the same reasons as yours - you're doing what's best for your child.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Saturday, March 1, 2014
I Have Seen The Enemy, And It Is My Friend
I'm in the middle of fighting with Veteran's Affairs Canada. This is probably going to be the hardest military event I'll ever go through. I was told Basic Training would be the hardest and it was tough but I made it through.
I made it through failing my first trades course because I wouldn't sleep with the instructor. I endured hard words and disappointment from my Sgt Major for months until I came clean with why I failed. Then I had to hold him back from tracking the guy down and beating on him.
I made it through months of sleeping in tents with men who thought that my sleeping bag would be warmer with them in it with me. I lived through shitting in the woods in the snow and going days without sleep. I lived through CS gas attacks in trench systems and fighting off mosquitoes the size of small birds. I made it through ignorant comments about being a woman, snide sneers about taking 'his' job and being weak, snarky muttered comments about being a 'Shad who doesn't know fuck nothing about being a Supply Tech'. And all through it, I countered with my words and my wit, my determination and my conviction.
I made it through a Combat Leader's Course at the Battle School in Wainwright, getting shat upon by my section because I couldn't run long distances like they could. I tried to quit but my Sgt said he wouldn't let me. In fact, his exact words were, "I'm not letting you quit. You have something the rest of us need. You're not leaving. A leader is more than someone who can carry a log on their shoulders and you need to learn that." Hardest course I ever did physically and mentally. But I did it.
I made it through the shittiest bosses in NATO without falling apart, without getting charged, and without committing a felony. Came close though (the charge part). I stood up to these bullies, these men who for whatever reasons, felt they were better than I was, and were in positions of power. I earned one's respect, and don't give a second thought to the other because he's so narrow minded he'll never change.
I made it through a Senior Leader's Course at the Battle School in Gagetown, learning to never let my guard down EVER, whether on the parade square, in a class room, or in the field.
I made it through going to sea for months at a time, away from family and friends, sailing across the world to exotic places... fighting the ship's movement, hauling NUTO buckets full of water up and down ladders in warm waters up to 6 times/day, dealing with fake fires, real fires, fake casualties, real casualties, sea sickness, crude comments about tits and more bullies who wanted me to fit a certain mold and seemed ready to ruin my career and my confidence if I wouldn't. I dealt with co-workers who undermined every move I made, gaslighting me and setting me up to fail. I reacted by becoming a harassment advisor to help people reach appropriate solutions for the difficulties they faced. I stood up for my peers and made many superiors pissed off at me for it.
I dealt with comments from well-meaning idiots through both pregnancies. I helped every section I was in become more productive and do things better and more efficiently.
And now I'm facing the biggest bully and liar I've met: Veteran's Affairs Canada.
They are not there to help the Veteran who comes to them for help. They're mandated to tell the client one thing, but do another. Without fail, since the late '90's when the PPCLI left Victoria, every story except 2 that I've been told about directly from the military person, has been denied. The knees blown out by years of intense infantry training - denied (from playing football as a teenager apparently). The knee ruined while on training - denied. The motor difficulties and system shutdown caused by inhalation of toxins while in the infantry - denied.
And now my chronic knee pain, foot pain, and the elbow I broke while on a military bonspiel - denied.
What they tell you: See your doctor to get a report on your injuries written up. We'll pay UP TO$150 for you to get it done.
What they forget to tell you: See an independent medical expert to get a comprehensive report written up that will take upwards of 4 hours of your day dependent upon what you're claiming. We need an estimate and then we'll pay it but you have to know about this or we won't tell you.
What they tell you: Send in your job spec.
What they don't tell you: That doesn't really matter because our specs are the ones that matter. For example, as a Supply Tech, my job spec says I lift 25kg on a regular basis. THEIR spec says that in order for me to claim lumbar pain, I have to have lifted 35kg for 51% of the time for 10 years or more.
First off no friggin' job anywhere needs you to lift 35kg regularly. That's slightly over 77 lbs. That's a bag and a half of potatoes. That's the weight of a 10-12 year-old child.
And for safety reasons, you're told not to carry anything over 25kg by yourself!! So this little circle comes to a close: Oh, you didn't lift 35kg regularly? Then you don't meet our specifications. Denied.
And does 'regularly for 51% of the time for 10 years or more" take into account leave? Weekends? Holidays? Courses? I'll tell you what it DOES take into account: temporary medical categories. The kind you go on when you're pregnant. Twice.
i have more rants to come another day, but I'm going to stop now before I get unintelligible and really ranty.
I made it through failing my first trades course because I wouldn't sleep with the instructor. I endured hard words and disappointment from my Sgt Major for months until I came clean with why I failed. Then I had to hold him back from tracking the guy down and beating on him.
I made it through months of sleeping in tents with men who thought that my sleeping bag would be warmer with them in it with me. I lived through shitting in the woods in the snow and going days without sleep. I lived through CS gas attacks in trench systems and fighting off mosquitoes the size of small birds. I made it through ignorant comments about being a woman, snide sneers about taking 'his' job and being weak, snarky muttered comments about being a 'Shad who doesn't know fuck nothing about being a Supply Tech'. And all through it, I countered with my words and my wit, my determination and my conviction.
I made it through a Combat Leader's Course at the Battle School in Wainwright, getting shat upon by my section because I couldn't run long distances like they could. I tried to quit but my Sgt said he wouldn't let me. In fact, his exact words were, "I'm not letting you quit. You have something the rest of us need. You're not leaving. A leader is more than someone who can carry a log on their shoulders and you need to learn that." Hardest course I ever did physically and mentally. But I did it.
I made it through the shittiest bosses in NATO without falling apart, without getting charged, and without committing a felony. Came close though (the charge part). I stood up to these bullies, these men who for whatever reasons, felt they were better than I was, and were in positions of power. I earned one's respect, and don't give a second thought to the other because he's so narrow minded he'll never change.
I made it through a Senior Leader's Course at the Battle School in Gagetown, learning to never let my guard down EVER, whether on the parade square, in a class room, or in the field.
I made it through going to sea for months at a time, away from family and friends, sailing across the world to exotic places... fighting the ship's movement, hauling NUTO buckets full of water up and down ladders in warm waters up to 6 times/day, dealing with fake fires, real fires, fake casualties, real casualties, sea sickness, crude comments about tits and more bullies who wanted me to fit a certain mold and seemed ready to ruin my career and my confidence if I wouldn't. I dealt with co-workers who undermined every move I made, gaslighting me and setting me up to fail. I reacted by becoming a harassment advisor to help people reach appropriate solutions for the difficulties they faced. I stood up for my peers and made many superiors pissed off at me for it.
I dealt with comments from well-meaning idiots through both pregnancies. I helped every section I was in become more productive and do things better and more efficiently.
And now I'm facing the biggest bully and liar I've met: Veteran's Affairs Canada.
They are not there to help the Veteran who comes to them for help. They're mandated to tell the client one thing, but do another. Without fail, since the late '90's when the PPCLI left Victoria, every story except 2 that I've been told about directly from the military person, has been denied. The knees blown out by years of intense infantry training - denied (from playing football as a teenager apparently). The knee ruined while on training - denied. The motor difficulties and system shutdown caused by inhalation of toxins while in the infantry - denied.
And now my chronic knee pain, foot pain, and the elbow I broke while on a military bonspiel - denied.
What they tell you: See your doctor to get a report on your injuries written up. We'll pay UP TO$150 for you to get it done.
What they forget to tell you: See an independent medical expert to get a comprehensive report written up that will take upwards of 4 hours of your day dependent upon what you're claiming. We need an estimate and then we'll pay it but you have to know about this or we won't tell you.
What they tell you: Send in your job spec.
What they don't tell you: That doesn't really matter because our specs are the ones that matter. For example, as a Supply Tech, my job spec says I lift 25kg on a regular basis. THEIR spec says that in order for me to claim lumbar pain, I have to have lifted 35kg for 51% of the time for 10 years or more.
First off no friggin' job anywhere needs you to lift 35kg regularly. That's slightly over 77 lbs. That's a bag and a half of potatoes. That's the weight of a 10-12 year-old child.
And for safety reasons, you're told not to carry anything over 25kg by yourself!! So this little circle comes to a close: Oh, you didn't lift 35kg regularly? Then you don't meet our specifications. Denied.
And does 'regularly for 51% of the time for 10 years or more" take into account leave? Weekends? Holidays? Courses? I'll tell you what it DOES take into account: temporary medical categories. The kind you go on when you're pregnant. Twice.
i have more rants to come another day, but I'm going to stop now before I get unintelligible and really ranty.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
"No" doesn't mean "Talk me into it!"
I'm getting a little fed up with a local swap & shop site I visit on Facebook. It's like a relationship with a guy.
When you first meet, it's all sunshine and lollipops - there's cool stuff to buy and even better, people will buy YOUR stuff! Woo hoo! Easy to down-size, great to get stuff you're looking for at a really good deal.
You enter into it with good intentions - You see something, you offer for it, you set up a meeting place, pay your money and get your item.
Then things go a little crazy, just like in a relationship. Places are hard to find. People don't meet you on time. The person you sold something to passes or keeps you hanging for weeks, leading you on that they still want it but they never take it.
And then the questions start: Is it broken? Will it work? And my favourite: Will you take $X for it instead?
There's a few ways around these tricks - you can say First Come First Serve (FCFS) which means you won't hold it, and you want it gone quickly. You can also say No Holds which essentially says the same thing.
Another thing to post is, FIRM on the price. If you don't I guarantee at least one person will try the "Will you take $4 for it?" on a $10 item. Seriously. Low-balling is one thing, but that's a little low.
And even then, you'll STILL get people asking you privately if you'd take less for what you're asking.
Yanno, if I say FIRM, I mean FIRM. I don't mean, "Talk me into it." or "Ask anyway". I mean FIRM.
It's like when you're out with a guy and he offers you a drink. You say, "No thanks, I'm good." And he keeps on and on and on at you, trying to wear you down. WTF? What part of NO don't you get, right? I'm a grown woman. I know if I want a drink or not. And if you buy me one, I'm not going to drink it.
I was at a neighbour's party one night. One of our other neighbours was there and was drinking a lot of rum. I was drinking beer and don't especially like rum at the best of times. He is an older gentleman, an immigrant Italian, very old-school. He offered me a drink of rum. "No thanks" I say, very pleasantly. "Oh, come on. Have a drink." "No. Thank. You." I say again, a little more firmly. "OH, don't be like that. Have a drink." This went on for 5 minutes - him nearly forcing me to drink and me getting more and more pissed off. Finally he says, "Why are you so rude? Be NICE" he says.
Oh, so now I have to be a good girl? Be a nice girl? Seriously? Is this the '50's or something and I missed the time warp? "I AM being nice," I say, "If I wasn't you'd know it."
"Oh, hahahhaa," he laughs, "Really?"
"Yes, I'm being polite and courteous to you now, and you're not respecting my choice."
"But it's just a drink!"
"Ok, look, you have a daughter, right?"
"Yes, you know that. Beautiful girl, 18 years old."
"Yes and if some guy was forcing her to take a drink like you're forcing me, what would you say?"
"I'd kill him!"
"Exactly! Stop pressing me to take a drink. Stop insisting that I drink something I don't want to drink. I'm respecting you by being polite, and I want the same respect back."
He didn't really get it I think, mostly because he was drunk, but my host sure did.
My kid tries it too. If she doesn't get the answer she wants she keeps at you and at you and at you, hoping to wear you down. But she's 7 and believes in mermaids and Smurfs.
When I say NO, I mean NO. People need to respect that. I'm ingraining that into my daughter's pysche. When they say, "Stop tickling me!" I stop. When they say, "No, I don't want water." I don't give them water. I take their decision into consideration. They know themselves and I won't tell them differently.
Maybe then, when someone says a price is FIRM, they'll respect that. When they ask someone a question and that person says, No, then they'll respect that. And with luck they'll get that respect in return.
When you first meet, it's all sunshine and lollipops - there's cool stuff to buy and even better, people will buy YOUR stuff! Woo hoo! Easy to down-size, great to get stuff you're looking for at a really good deal.
You enter into it with good intentions - You see something, you offer for it, you set up a meeting place, pay your money and get your item.
Then things go a little crazy, just like in a relationship. Places are hard to find. People don't meet you on time. The person you sold something to passes or keeps you hanging for weeks, leading you on that they still want it but they never take it.
And then the questions start: Is it broken? Will it work? And my favourite: Will you take $X for it instead?
There's a few ways around these tricks - you can say First Come First Serve (FCFS) which means you won't hold it, and you want it gone quickly. You can also say No Holds which essentially says the same thing.
Another thing to post is, FIRM on the price. If you don't I guarantee at least one person will try the "Will you take $4 for it?" on a $10 item. Seriously. Low-balling is one thing, but that's a little low.
And even then, you'll STILL get people asking you privately if you'd take less for what you're asking.
Yanno, if I say FIRM, I mean FIRM. I don't mean, "Talk me into it." or "Ask anyway". I mean FIRM.
It's like when you're out with a guy and he offers you a drink. You say, "No thanks, I'm good." And he keeps on and on and on at you, trying to wear you down. WTF? What part of NO don't you get, right? I'm a grown woman. I know if I want a drink or not. And if you buy me one, I'm not going to drink it.
I was at a neighbour's party one night. One of our other neighbours was there and was drinking a lot of rum. I was drinking beer and don't especially like rum at the best of times. He is an older gentleman, an immigrant Italian, very old-school. He offered me a drink of rum. "No thanks" I say, very pleasantly. "Oh, come on. Have a drink." "No. Thank. You." I say again, a little more firmly. "OH, don't be like that. Have a drink." This went on for 5 minutes - him nearly forcing me to drink and me getting more and more pissed off. Finally he says, "Why are you so rude? Be NICE" he says.
Oh, so now I have to be a good girl? Be a nice girl? Seriously? Is this the '50's or something and I missed the time warp? "I AM being nice," I say, "If I wasn't you'd know it."
"Oh, hahahhaa," he laughs, "Really?"
"Yes, I'm being polite and courteous to you now, and you're not respecting my choice."
"But it's just a drink!"
"Ok, look, you have a daughter, right?"
"Yes, you know that. Beautiful girl, 18 years old."
"Yes and if some guy was forcing her to take a drink like you're forcing me, what would you say?"
"I'd kill him!"
"Exactly! Stop pressing me to take a drink. Stop insisting that I drink something I don't want to drink. I'm respecting you by being polite, and I want the same respect back."
He didn't really get it I think, mostly because he was drunk, but my host sure did.
My kid tries it too. If she doesn't get the answer she wants she keeps at you and at you and at you, hoping to wear you down. But she's 7 and believes in mermaids and Smurfs.
When I say NO, I mean NO. People need to respect that. I'm ingraining that into my daughter's pysche. When they say, "Stop tickling me!" I stop. When they say, "No, I don't want water." I don't give them water. I take their decision into consideration. They know themselves and I won't tell them differently.
Maybe then, when someone says a price is FIRM, they'll respect that. When they ask someone a question and that person says, No, then they'll respect that. And with luck they'll get that respect in return.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Shit I've Learned Over The Years (or, Murphy's Laws of Everyday Operations)
There's this thing going around called, "Hacks" - life hacks to make your every day life easier, iPhone hacks to make navigating your electronic devices easier, etc - and yet there's nothing that gathers all the Shit I've Learned into one spot. Here's my version so far:
- when you're in a hurry, you will follow someone doing the speed limit (or under) and hit every red light between where you start and your destination. Everyone says, "well then, leave earlier!" Sometimes it's not possible to do that, especially when you have children to wrangle out the door. Or when there's frost (or snow) on your car and you need that extra 10 minutes to clear it so you can actually see to drive. Or when you consistently forget something (like your phone or purse or list) and have to go back to get it. And that's usually why you're in a hurry.
- when you owe the government money - ANY government from municipal to federal - you will be charged interest from the SECOND you are found delinquent. This means that you will need to pay them an extra $5 minimum when you make your payment otherwise you'll be paying interest on the interest until you can catch up. However, when they owe YOU money, they will add on interest (at a lower interest rate than they charge you) and take their sweet time sending it to you. This means you will not get it in time to pay bills like you were expecting, and then you'll get dinged for an NSF charge for when the payments can't go through (see next).
- when you end up getting automatic payments out of your account, if you end up going NSF, the bank will whack you with a $45-50 charge each time something bounces, even if the lower-cost of the items would have cleared. So, let's say two NSF charges hit, one for $450 and one for $35. If the $35 item had gotten posted first, it would be fine, but because the higher one posted first, it threw you into NSF, and then the next one added to it. So, instead of clearing one and then only paying ONE NSF fee, you're paying TWO and throwing back TWO posted items. When you call the bank (or credit union) to explain this, they will be very polite and say something along the lines of, "Well we can't do anything about it because the company who requested the funds asked for it on that day and we post as soon as it comes through." So, they will not only tell you they couldn't do anything about it, but that it's the company's fault. When you call the company, they will tell you it's the bank's fault for posting it when they did. And then THEY'LL ding you for a returned-cheque fee, which will be added onto the next payment.
- when you're pregnant, your unborn child will come early so you can't attend a fancy event. Trust me. Happened twice. Never make plans within 2 weeks of your due date either way. Just won't happen.
- when you're a parent, your child will get sick so you can't attend a party, special event, or even go out to a movie. Never make plans when you're a parent because it just won't happen.
- Karma works. Seriously - when you cut someone off in traffic, then you'll get cut off at least twice before you get home. When you were a kid, remember all that shit you did? Your kids will do that to you - only worse and all the time. When you were childless and you looked at that Mom and had those thoughts in your head, "Man, just control your kid, can't you?" - your kid will throw the mother-of-all-tantrums in the middle of WalMart and you'll get all those looks too. When you told your friend who just lost her pregnancy that, "Everything happens for a reason," just HOPE that someone won't be throwing those words back in your face.
- Karma works. When you do something nice for someone just because you can, you will get something nice done for you when you need it most.
- when you're in a hurry, you will follow someone doing the speed limit (or under) and hit every red light between where you start and your destination. Everyone says, "well then, leave earlier!" Sometimes it's not possible to do that, especially when you have children to wrangle out the door. Or when there's frost (or snow) on your car and you need that extra 10 minutes to clear it so you can actually see to drive. Or when you consistently forget something (like your phone or purse or list) and have to go back to get it. And that's usually why you're in a hurry.
- when you owe the government money - ANY government from municipal to federal - you will be charged interest from the SECOND you are found delinquent. This means that you will need to pay them an extra $5 minimum when you make your payment otherwise you'll be paying interest on the interest until you can catch up. However, when they owe YOU money, they will add on interest (at a lower interest rate than they charge you) and take their sweet time sending it to you. This means you will not get it in time to pay bills like you were expecting, and then you'll get dinged for an NSF charge for when the payments can't go through (see next).
- when you end up getting automatic payments out of your account, if you end up going NSF, the bank will whack you with a $45-50 charge each time something bounces, even if the lower-cost of the items would have cleared. So, let's say two NSF charges hit, one for $450 and one for $35. If the $35 item had gotten posted first, it would be fine, but because the higher one posted first, it threw you into NSF, and then the next one added to it. So, instead of clearing one and then only paying ONE NSF fee, you're paying TWO and throwing back TWO posted items. When you call the bank (or credit union) to explain this, they will be very polite and say something along the lines of, "Well we can't do anything about it because the company who requested the funds asked for it on that day and we post as soon as it comes through." So, they will not only tell you they couldn't do anything about it, but that it's the company's fault. When you call the company, they will tell you it's the bank's fault for posting it when they did. And then THEY'LL ding you for a returned-cheque fee, which will be added onto the next payment.
- when you're pregnant, your unborn child will come early so you can't attend a fancy event. Trust me. Happened twice. Never make plans within 2 weeks of your due date either way. Just won't happen.
- when you're a parent, your child will get sick so you can't attend a party, special event, or even go out to a movie. Never make plans when you're a parent because it just won't happen.
- Karma works. Seriously - when you cut someone off in traffic, then you'll get cut off at least twice before you get home. When you were a kid, remember all that shit you did? Your kids will do that to you - only worse and all the time. When you were childless and you looked at that Mom and had those thoughts in your head, "Man, just control your kid, can't you?" - your kid will throw the mother-of-all-tantrums in the middle of WalMart and you'll get all those looks too. When you told your friend who just lost her pregnancy that, "Everything happens for a reason," just HOPE that someone won't be throwing those words back in your face.
- Karma works. When you do something nice for someone just because you can, you will get something nice done for you when you need it most.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
The More Things Change...
This weekend a very good friend of mine came over for a 2 night stay.
She brought her lovely children and they played so well with my girls!
We had a great time. One thing she did was watch the kids while Sailor,
Neighbour, Neighbour's Wife and I moved the big stuff out of the store
and into a storage locker.
It took us 2 hours to take the majority of stuff out - all that's left are mannequins, a couple of chairs, dresses, stands, a computer and the printer. Well... a couple of boxes too... and the racking... and a giant counter.
ANYWAY, everything else is leaving by Tuesday (except for the counter) and tomorrow I'll be busy bagging the dresses and hopefully selling a few, before taking them all to the storage locker and storing them in preparation for the mobile service I've come up with. With luck there'll be room for the manni's too... and the chairs, stands, boxes and racking. The computer and printer are coming home with me.
Speaking of which, the desk and printer cart came home - broken. So now the desk is really only good for firewood and the printer cart needs the rollers taken off so it's not cart, but more of a table. With luck I can sell it, but so far no bites on either.
Ok, so Friend and Kids arrived and while we were out loading and unloading, she would text me - the kids are eating muffins, we're having a great time, stay out as long as you want, the upstairs toilet has overflowed, and we changed the living room around!
Awesome!
We got home and put stuff downstairs into what is supposed to be my craft room but is now turning into my crap room, and then I came upstairs into the living room... it looked amazing! The sofa table was where the sofa was, the sofa was cross-ways, the giant entertainment centre was empty and items were put on the bookshelves, which were moved to the other end of the room and the tv (#1) was in the corner... It looked great but we decided it could look so much better! So Sailor, Friend and I took apart the Monstrosity (giant entertainment centre) and though we thought we found the base and sticky-uppy-thing for the flat screen tv (#2), we realized we didn't have the right sticky-uppy-thing, so we bought the stand-with-a-stick from another friend and put that in the corner... which we liked until we realized the cable wasn't turned on in that corner (the outlet part), so the tv is now back where it started, only on a smaller, more modern stand with a new tv on it. I just need another HDMI cable to hook up the Apple TV and we can toss cable TV!
Now, my office area has always been in the living room and moving it is a gargantuan job. But Friend convinced me the girls don't need a playroom - they need a play area with the majority of their toys in their rooms and if they don't fit, then they leave! The toys, not the girls.
This morning, we moved all the toys in the living room and told the girls to sort out what's garbage, what's being sold and what's being kept. Then we moved the office into the playroom - that L-shaped desk was a to move but we did it! WOMAN POWER!!
The far end of the living room has a loveseat against the wall facing an older tv (#3) which only takes cable. I hooked up all the cables to the receiver, speakers, DVD and VCR but the remote for the tv (#3) isn't working and the other things are hooking up, so Sailor needs to bring back the other tv (#1) and I can re-hook that up. He wants to use a tv (#3) for his PS2 (yes, we're old and out of touch. Whatever.), so hopefully this old one will work for him. It's super heavy and he's not going to be impressed that he gets to move them all again, but seriously, the whining from these two is going to drive me mental.
Then two tall bookshelves became one tall one with books and games on it and one short one with dvds and vhs on it. The other tall one went downstairs across from the freezer and is holding canning stuff. The coffee table is in the far corner with a tv (#3) on it and the speakers with the receiver, DVD and VCR under it. The girls' paint/chalk board easel has a large toy under it with a small square table in the corner holding current larger play toys. Their huge toy bins are going to be sorted out (they're in R's room right now) and all toys are to be purged to fit ONLY in their three cloth bins in their rooms. Anything else is being sold, donated or tossed. Honestly, they don't need that many Barbies, especially since G is into Monster High now.
We decided to put the sofa back against the wall and the sofa table back under the window with the Christmas cards, the keyboard piano in the corner and when the Christmas tree is taken down and gone, a couple guitars will round it out nicely. Sailor's recliner is in front of the fireplace and can be moved around along with the wooden rocking chair in the opposite corner.
The whole living room is opened up now. Very linear, but looks much more spacious and the walls will be much easier to paint now that we can actually get to them! We just need to agree on a neutral colour and get some paint on sale (and the accoutrements!).
So, though the living room is REALLY different, some things are the same - the couch is across from the tv, the area rug is in between, the horse cabinet is still in the corner and the sofa table is against the window.
Now Friend is working on me removing more stuff! She sure has her work cut out for her... but in all honesty, I'm looking at the stuff in my craft room and thinking, "I could get rid of this and this and this..." so it might be possible after all!
It took us 2 hours to take the majority of stuff out - all that's left are mannequins, a couple of chairs, dresses, stands, a computer and the printer. Well... a couple of boxes too... and the racking... and a giant counter.
ANYWAY, everything else is leaving by Tuesday (except for the counter) and tomorrow I'll be busy bagging the dresses and hopefully selling a few, before taking them all to the storage locker and storing them in preparation for the mobile service I've come up with. With luck there'll be room for the manni's too... and the chairs, stands, boxes and racking. The computer and printer are coming home with me.
Speaking of which, the desk and printer cart came home - broken. So now the desk is really only good for firewood and the printer cart needs the rollers taken off so it's not cart, but more of a table. With luck I can sell it, but so far no bites on either.
Ok, so Friend and Kids arrived and while we were out loading and unloading, she would text me - the kids are eating muffins, we're having a great time, stay out as long as you want, the upstairs toilet has overflowed, and we changed the living room around!
Awesome!
We got home and put stuff downstairs into what is supposed to be my craft room but is now turning into my crap room, and then I came upstairs into the living room... it looked amazing! The sofa table was where the sofa was, the sofa was cross-ways, the giant entertainment centre was empty and items were put on the bookshelves, which were moved to the other end of the room and the tv (#1) was in the corner... It looked great but we decided it could look so much better! So Sailor, Friend and I took apart the Monstrosity (giant entertainment centre) and though we thought we found the base and sticky-uppy-thing for the flat screen tv (#2), we realized we didn't have the right sticky-uppy-thing, so we bought the stand-with-a-stick from another friend and put that in the corner... which we liked until we realized the cable wasn't turned on in that corner (the outlet part), so the tv is now back where it started, only on a smaller, more modern stand with a new tv on it. I just need another HDMI cable to hook up the Apple TV and we can toss cable TV!
Now, my office area has always been in the living room and moving it is a gargantuan job. But Friend convinced me the girls don't need a playroom - they need a play area with the majority of their toys in their rooms and if they don't fit, then they leave! The toys, not the girls.
This morning, we moved all the toys in the living room and told the girls to sort out what's garbage, what's being sold and what's being kept. Then we moved the office into the playroom - that L-shaped desk was a
The far end of the living room has a loveseat against the wall facing an older tv (#3) which only takes cable. I hooked up all the cables to the receiver, speakers, DVD and VCR but the remote for the tv (#3) isn't working and the other things are hooking up, so Sailor needs to bring back the other tv (#1) and I can re-hook that up. He wants to use a tv (#3) for his PS2 (yes, we're old and out of touch. Whatever.), so hopefully this old one will work for him. It's super heavy and he's not going to be impressed that he gets to move them all again, but seriously, the whining from these two is going to drive me mental.
Then two tall bookshelves became one tall one with books and games on it and one short one with dvds and vhs on it. The other tall one went downstairs across from the freezer and is holding canning stuff. The coffee table is in the far corner with a tv (#3) on it and the speakers with the receiver, DVD and VCR under it. The girls' paint/chalk board easel has a large toy under it with a small square table in the corner holding current larger play toys. Their huge toy bins are going to be sorted out (they're in R's room right now) and all toys are to be purged to fit ONLY in their three cloth bins in their rooms. Anything else is being sold, donated or tossed. Honestly, they don't need that many Barbies, especially since G is into Monster High now.
We decided to put the sofa back against the wall and the sofa table back under the window with the Christmas cards, the keyboard piano in the corner and when the Christmas tree is taken down and gone, a couple guitars will round it out nicely. Sailor's recliner is in front of the fireplace and can be moved around along with the wooden rocking chair in the opposite corner.
The whole living room is opened up now. Very linear, but looks much more spacious and the walls will be much easier to paint now that we can actually get to them! We just need to agree on a neutral colour and get some paint on sale (and the accoutrements!).
So, though the living room is REALLY different, some things are the same - the couch is across from the tv, the area rug is in between, the horse cabinet is still in the corner and the sofa table is against the window.
Now Friend is working on me removing more stuff! She sure has her work cut out for her... but in all honesty, I'm looking at the stuff in my craft room and thinking, "I could get rid of this and this and this..." so it might be possible after all!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
I'm Getting Older and This Is How I Know
When my Mum had me she was 30. Back in the mid-60's that was pretty much the upper limit of women's reproductive age and by the time I realized she was THIRTY YEARS OLDER than I was I thought she was OOOOLLLDDD.
Mum moved away when I was 17, just a few months shy of turning 18, and for some reason, even though I know she's in her late 70's now, I still see her in my mind's eye at about 48. I told her she'll always look 48 to me, and she probably always will. She sends me photos of her Sweet Adelines' singing group, and there's a few more wrinkles, but she essentially looks the same to me.
Now I have two kids of my own, my last born a week before I turned 40. I didn't FEEL 40. I felt more like 28 or something, 30 tops. Now I'm in my last two years of being in my 40's and I'm not liking what I see in the mirror. Well, ok, I like it a bit, but I'm starting to really understand how women can go to a plastic surgeon and say, "Fix this!"
Today is annual Christmas photo day. The girls are dressed up in their beautiful Christmas dresses and I'm busy putting on the war paint. Usually I go with the matte shadows because it hides the creases in my eyes so well, but today I throw caution to the wind and decide to use the cream makeup that I have. The blush is a great colour and goes on smoothly. Then the eyes... I have amazing eyes. They're built to be a perfect palette for eyeshadows with lots of space on the lid, the crease and under the brow.
But wait... once the eyeliner goes on, there's nothing left to be seen. In fact, it looks a little... droopy! I know I've gained weight (and I'm dropping it thanks to aquafit and healthier eating), but on my EYELIDS?! I have fat eyelids?! Why isn't there any colour showing on my eyelid? Why is the crease all puffy? Where did my canvas go?
And hey... are those... jowls? Seriously? JOWLS along my jawline? Where the hell did they come from?
And under my chin, why is there another chin? I tighten my throat to get rid of that and notice the horizontal lines going across my neck are a little deeper today than last week. And then my gaze travels to my 'decollete' and it looks a little... lizard-y. And lower to find my boobs. I swear I didn't have to look as low a little while ago.
Down my gaze travels over a body I have known intimately all my life but now looks completely foreign to me, with new hills and valleys, new contour lines and dimples that I've never met. At least my knees... nope, they're gone too!
I know kids have done some work on me, and those are my battle scars I wear with honour. I know some of it is the love-hate relationship I have with ice cream and late-night snacking versus lack of desire to exercise. I know some things are just natural aging processes. Not really liking this 'older' stuff.
But my eyes? I pull my skin a little, just to erase the jowls and puffy eyes. Ahhh... plastic surgery... now I get it. When your inside is contradicting your outside, you need to align them again.
I can't afford it that's for sure. So I will keep on eating healthy, being mindful of what I'm actually noshing on, and exercising as often as I can (I guess that elliptical I've used twice this year will start getting more use), and maybe, just maybe my eyes will come back, the jowls will disappear, and I'll find my knee caps once more.
At least Mum still looks 48. That gives me hope that I can hang on too.
Mum moved away when I was 17, just a few months shy of turning 18, and for some reason, even though I know she's in her late 70's now, I still see her in my mind's eye at about 48. I told her she'll always look 48 to me, and she probably always will. She sends me photos of her Sweet Adelines' singing group, and there's a few more wrinkles, but she essentially looks the same to me.
Now I have two kids of my own, my last born a week before I turned 40. I didn't FEEL 40. I felt more like 28 or something, 30 tops. Now I'm in my last two years of being in my 40's and I'm not liking what I see in the mirror. Well, ok, I like it a bit, but I'm starting to really understand how women can go to a plastic surgeon and say, "Fix this!"
Today is annual Christmas photo day. The girls are dressed up in their beautiful Christmas dresses and I'm busy putting on the war paint. Usually I go with the matte shadows because it hides the creases in my eyes so well, but today I throw caution to the wind and decide to use the cream makeup that I have. The blush is a great colour and goes on smoothly. Then the eyes... I have amazing eyes. They're built to be a perfect palette for eyeshadows with lots of space on the lid, the crease and under the brow.
But wait... once the eyeliner goes on, there's nothing left to be seen. In fact, it looks a little... droopy! I know I've gained weight (and I'm dropping it thanks to aquafit and healthier eating), but on my EYELIDS?! I have fat eyelids?! Why isn't there any colour showing on my eyelid? Why is the crease all puffy? Where did my canvas go?
And hey... are those... jowls? Seriously? JOWLS along my jawline? Where the hell did they come from?
And under my chin, why is there another chin? I tighten my throat to get rid of that and notice the horizontal lines going across my neck are a little deeper today than last week. And then my gaze travels to my 'decollete' and it looks a little... lizard-y. And lower to find my boobs. I swear I didn't have to look as low a little while ago.
Down my gaze travels over a body I have known intimately all my life but now looks completely foreign to me, with new hills and valleys, new contour lines and dimples that I've never met. At least my knees... nope, they're gone too!
I know kids have done some work on me, and those are my battle scars I wear with honour. I know some of it is the love-hate relationship I have with ice cream and late-night snacking versus lack of desire to exercise. I know some things are just natural aging processes. Not really liking this 'older' stuff.
But my eyes? I pull my skin a little, just to erase the jowls and puffy eyes. Ahhh... plastic surgery... now I get it. When your inside is contradicting your outside, you need to align them again.
I can't afford it that's for sure. So I will keep on eating healthy, being mindful of what I'm actually noshing on, and exercising as often as I can (I guess that elliptical I've used twice this year will start getting more use), and maybe, just maybe my eyes will come back, the jowls will disappear, and I'll find my knee caps once more.
At least Mum still looks 48. That gives me hope that I can hang on too.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Well, HELLO there!
Yes, it's been a LONG time since I've blogged here. A lot has been happening and now that things aren't happening quite as much, I've decided to start writing again.
Essentially, the store is closing as of the 30th of this month. I'm moving to a mobile service instead. This will allow me to sell off stock in a personal setting and still be able to hold down a job.
Speaking of which, the military has asked me to come back again in the New Year for a 90 day contract. I said I'd do it, but I'd prefer to do only 4 days/week instead of 5. I'd prefer to get an STS position instead of a CR position. I'd PREFER to work in town instead of commuting an hour each way every friggin' day. But whatever. I'm applying for jobs left, right, and centre. So far, no interview phone calls yet, and that's kind of depressing. I mean, I'm spectacular with warehousing - why hasn't anyone called me? I'm a good receptionist - where's my interview? I think I'll need some help with my cover letters maybe. Bah.
The kids are good: R is in Grade 4 and has been diagnosed with three separate disorders: ADHD inattentive sub-type, Sensory Integration Disorder hyper-touch-hypo-sound, and Anxiety Disorder - Social. Poor lamb. Her teacher is awesome though, really helping her through. Her classmates are wonderful, but they should be worried about themselves, not about R. G is in Grade 2 and acting more like 17 than 7. We're in for a rough ride through her teen years I fear. She is loving and kind, but can't understand why people think she's bossy. Well darling, it's because you are.
Sailor is still in the Navy, although not sailing. He's teaching now. He seems happy enough but we're expecting a posting in the New Year to either a ship or another part of the School. I hope it's a ship - we're out of duty free booze and could use the sea pay.
So, that's caught me up now. I will go back to more in-depth fluff next time around.
Essentially, the store is closing as of the 30th of this month. I'm moving to a mobile service instead. This will allow me to sell off stock in a personal setting and still be able to hold down a job.
Speaking of which, the military has asked me to come back again in the New Year for a 90 day contract. I said I'd do it, but I'd prefer to do only 4 days/week instead of 5. I'd prefer to get an STS position instead of a CR position. I'd PREFER to work in town instead of commuting an hour each way every friggin' day. But whatever. I'm applying for jobs left, right, and centre. So far, no interview phone calls yet, and that's kind of depressing. I mean, I'm spectacular with warehousing - why hasn't anyone called me? I'm a good receptionist - where's my interview? I think I'll need some help with my cover letters maybe. Bah.
The kids are good: R is in Grade 4 and has been diagnosed with three separate disorders: ADHD inattentive sub-type, Sensory Integration Disorder hyper-touch-hypo-sound, and Anxiety Disorder - Social. Poor lamb. Her teacher is awesome though, really helping her through. Her classmates are wonderful, but they should be worried about themselves, not about R. G is in Grade 2 and acting more like 17 than 7. We're in for a rough ride through her teen years I fear. She is loving and kind, but can't understand why people think she's bossy. Well darling, it's because you are.
Sailor is still in the Navy, although not sailing. He's teaching now. He seems happy enough but we're expecting a posting in the New Year to either a ship or another part of the School. I hope it's a ship - we're out of duty free booze and could use the sea pay.
So, that's caught me up now. I will go back to more in-depth fluff next time around.
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