"No" doesn't mean "Talk me into it!"

I'm getting a little fed up with a local swap & shop site I visit on Facebook. It's like a relationship with a guy.

When you first meet, it's all sunshine and lollipops - there's cool stuff to buy and even better, people will buy YOUR stuff! Woo hoo! Easy to down-size, great to get stuff you're looking for at a really good deal.

You enter into it with good intentions - You see something, you offer for it, you set up a meeting place, pay your money and get your item.

Then things go a little crazy, just like in a relationship. Places are hard to find. People don't meet you on time. The person you sold something to passes or keeps you hanging for weeks, leading you on that they still want it but they never take it.

And then the questions start: Is it broken? Will it work? And my favourite: Will you take $X for it instead?

There's a few ways around these tricks - you can say First Come First Serve (FCFS) which means you won't hold it, and you want it gone quickly. You can also say No Holds which essentially says the same thing.

Another thing to post is, FIRM on the price. If you don't I guarantee at least one person will try the "Will you take $4 for it?" on a $10 item. Seriously. Low-balling is one thing, but that's a little low.

And even then, you'll STILL get people asking you privately if you'd take less for what you're asking.

Yanno, if I say FIRM, I mean FIRM. I don't mean, "Talk me into it." or "Ask anyway". I mean FIRM.

It's like when you're out with a guy and he offers you a drink. You say, "No thanks, I'm good." And he keeps on and on and on at you, trying to wear you down. WTF? What part of NO don't you get, right? I'm a grown woman. I know if I want a drink or not. And if you buy me one, I'm not going to drink it.

I was at a neighbour's party one night. One of our other neighbours was there and was drinking a lot of rum. I was drinking beer and don't especially like rum at the best of times. He is an older gentleman, an immigrant Italian, very old-school. He offered me a drink of rum. "No thanks" I say, very pleasantly. "Oh, come on. Have a drink." "No. Thank. You." I say again, a little more firmly. "OH, don't be like that. Have a drink." This went on for 5 minutes - him nearly forcing me to drink and me getting more and more pissed off. Finally he says, "Why are you so rude? Be NICE" he says.

Oh, so now I have to be a good girl? Be a nice girl? Seriously? Is this the '50's or something and I missed the time warp? "I AM being nice," I say, "If I wasn't you'd know it."

"Oh, hahahhaa," he laughs, "Really?"

"Yes, I'm being polite and courteous to you now, and you're not respecting my choice."

"But it's just a drink!"

"Ok, look, you have a daughter, right?"

"Yes, you know that. Beautiful girl, 18 years old."

"Yes and if some guy was forcing her to take a drink like you're forcing me, what would you say?"

"I'd kill him!"

"Exactly! Stop pressing me to take a drink. Stop insisting that I drink something I don't want to drink. I'm respecting you by being polite, and I want the same respect back."

He didn't really get it I think, mostly because he was drunk, but my host sure did.

My kid tries it too. If she doesn't get the answer she wants she keeps at you and at you and at you, hoping to wear you down. But she's 7 and believes in mermaids and Smurfs.

When I say NO, I mean NO. People need to respect that. I'm ingraining that into my daughter's pysche. When they say, "Stop tickling me!" I stop. When they say, "No, I don't want water." I don't give them water. I take their decision into consideration. They know themselves and I won't tell them differently.

Maybe then, when someone says a price is FIRM, they'll respect that. When they ask someone a question and that person says, No, then they'll respect that. And with luck they'll get that respect in return.